[he only nods, mostly to make it clear that he's listening to len's words. that he isn't ignoring him, despite not being ready to face the man just yet. with his eyes squeezed shut and body tense, barry has to take a moment to breathe. to let it all out before he does the right thing and leaves.]
I know you're not him. I haven't forgotten that.
[which is all the warning he gives before he's speeding over to len, cowl tugged back as his hands twist into the front of his shirt. as he ducks forward to finally kiss him. to give up on trying to hold back on the one thing he's wanted to do from the first moment he found out the other man was here too. whether it gets him shot in the process, well, it's a risk he's more than willing to take. he needs this.]
[ it's not the answer he was expecting but it makes sense. explains the nerves and the odd reaction and even barry showing up here in costume instead of civvies. (he's always seemed more confident in red.) if leonard were the type to put money down on when something like this would happen, he'd have said maybe a month or more from now.
might've been a bit stupid to think the fastest man alive would take things slow.
he doesn't shoot barry. doesn't even rear back from the contact. no, he brings his hands up to frame barry's face, one sliding back to grip his hair as leonard kisses him back for all he's worth. the flash has always been intriguing, and len's thought he was attractive since the night they made their deal. but the two of them together was never more than an idle daydream to keep him warm on cold nights. not until he came to this city and had the possibility dangled in front of him like the worst kind of tease.
leonard's never been very good at resisting the things he wants. but for barry, who was clearly grieving, he did. and if barry's decided he's over it enough? well. len's going to grasp that opportunity wholeheartedly. ]
[it's far from being the reaction he'd expected. wanted, definitely. but expected, not so much. having len allow the contact, to even reciprocate-- it leaves him breathless. leaves him wanting more than he knows is smart right now. even this was a risk. granted, it's one that paid off. but it's also one that could have easily backfired. could have left him being kicked out, whatever their relationship is being destroyed completely.
instead, he has this, and--]
Is this okay?
[they're words that're muttered in the scant space between them when he finally forces himself to pull back. he just doesn't have enough willpower left to actually break away. to actually put the distance between them that he knows he probably should be. this may not be his len, but he's still leonard snart. he's still important to him in a way that barry isn't sure quite what to do with.]
[ he huffs out a quiet laugh, letting his hands slip down so he can loop his arms around barry's shoulders. ]
I should be asking you that.
[ leonard isn't the one bringing truly odd relationship baggage into this exchange. he trusts barry--more than he'd let on if asked--but this is a weird situation. check-ins aren't a terrible thing. ]
[only not really. but he knows that this is something he wants, no matter how bad of an idea it might be. he's missed being close to len. missed being free to show his feelings. its barely been a month, but he's felt every single second of it, and if he hadn't fallen out with kara over this, he knows he wouldn't have held out anywhere near as long.
his expression is soft, his feelings all too clear when he leans back in to kiss len all over again. his arms slide to his waist, winding tightly around him to keep them both close. it doesn't matter how many hang ups he may have, how much it may still hurt that things aren't the same as they were in eudio, this is something he isn't sure he knows how to deny himself anymore. he needs len in his life, in whatever capacity he can get.]
[ well. there's nothing more to say to that, is there? nothing that leonard would want to say anyway, so he is more than okay with conversation being left by the wayside for a little bit as he leans into barry.
it's been a long time since he's been kissed as much as he has here in cuddle city. and even then it hasn't been with feelings attached in--so long it doesn't really bear putting a number to. it's maybe a little off-balance what with him knowing barry was in love with some version of him that no longer exists if only because leonard is missing some memories. but that's not to say that there's no reciprocation going on. leonard can't really name what it is he feels (fondness is ill-fitting and too small, like simply sounds childish, but it's not love exactly either) but there is something there.
something that makes him hum with contentedness as he pulls back and rests his forehead against barry's for a heartbeat, small smile hiding at the corners of his mouth. ]
You know, if this had happened a few hours earlier, I'd offer to take you to dinner. [ but now he won't because it's one in the morning. and offering breakfast has connotations he's not sure the two of them should be diving into yet. ]
[considering len had emptied out a vending machine for him not too long ago. a favor that he still needs to return, one way or another. it's something he's waiting for len to call him on though. for him to come looking for repayment, in whatever form that takes.]
You know, I would've come earlier, but I don't think I'd have done this a couple of hours back.
[not that he's been entirely certain he was going to do any of this in the first place. but the trouble with moving faster than the speed of sound is that his mind goes the exact same speed. so while jumping between "i should stay away" to "i need to screw his brains out" had taken no time at all, each mile covered was accompanied by a change of heart. back and forth until the moment he'd broken out his phone and sent that rushed message.]
I should probably go though, right? [there's a query to his words. a need for len to make that decision for him. sure, he's well aware that things can't go any further between them tonight. but that doesn't mean he wants to leave either. it's just far from being the right time of day for a social call.]
[ len nods, a little reluctantly. there's a part of him that would love nothing more than to take barry upstairs, lay him out on his bed, and absolutely ruin him. the rest of him realizes that's a terrible idea at this stage of things. ]
But we're doing dinner sometime this week.
[ that... should probably be a question. but it's not. ]
[there's no hesitation. no real acknowledgement in the first place of the lack of a question. it isn't needed though. len is one of the few people who he'd willingly do whatever was asked of him for. though given how different their versions of their relationship is, he can't deny that there's a part of him that dreads the day that len realizes just how far that goes.
taking one last, momentary advantage of their proximity, barry presses another chaste kiss to his lips, before finally forcing himself to step away. to cut himself off completely. if he doesn't do that he knows he'll never leave. he won't know how.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
one day i'll get these references
I know you're not him. I haven't forgotten that.
[which is all the warning he gives before he's speeding over to len, cowl tugged back as his hands twist into the front of his shirt. as he ducks forward to finally kiss him. to give up on trying to hold back on the one thing he's wanted to do from the first moment he found out the other man was here too. whether it gets him shot in the process, well, it's a risk he's more than willing to take. he needs this.]
no subject
might've been a bit stupid to think the fastest man alive would take things slow.
he doesn't shoot barry. doesn't even rear back from the contact. no, he brings his hands up to frame barry's face, one sliding back to grip his hair as leonard kisses him back for all he's worth. the flash has always been intriguing, and len's thought he was attractive since the night they made their deal. but the two of them together was never more than an idle daydream to keep him warm on cold nights. not until he came to this city and had the possibility dangled in front of him like the worst kind of tease.
leonard's never been very good at resisting the things he wants. but for barry, who was clearly grieving, he did. and if barry's decided he's over it enough? well. len's going to grasp that opportunity wholeheartedly. ]
no subject
instead, he has this, and--]
Is this okay?
[they're words that're muttered in the scant space between them when he finally forces himself to pull back. he just doesn't have enough willpower left to actually break away. to actually put the distance between them that he knows he probably should be. this may not be his len, but he's still leonard snart. he's still important to him in a way that barry isn't sure quite what to do with.]
no subject
I should be asking you that.
[ leonard isn't the one bringing truly odd relationship baggage into this exchange. he trusts barry--more than he'd let on if asked--but this is a weird situation. check-ins aren't a terrible thing. ]
If you're sure, I'm good.
no subject
[only not really. but he knows that this is something he wants, no matter how bad of an idea it might be. he's missed being close to len. missed being free to show his feelings. its barely been a month, but he's felt every single second of it, and if he hadn't fallen out with kara over this, he knows he wouldn't have held out anywhere near as long.
his expression is soft, his feelings all too clear when he leans back in to kiss len all over again. his arms slide to his waist, winding tightly around him to keep them both close. it doesn't matter how many hang ups he may have, how much it may still hurt that things aren't the same as they were in eudio, this is something he isn't sure he knows how to deny himself anymore. he needs len in his life, in whatever capacity he can get.]
no subject
it's been a long time since he's been kissed as much as he has here in cuddle city. and even then it hasn't been with feelings attached in--so long it doesn't really bear putting a number to. it's maybe a little off-balance what with him knowing barry was in love with some version of him that no longer exists if only because leonard is missing some memories. but that's not to say that there's no reciprocation going on. leonard can't really name what it is he feels (fondness is ill-fitting and too small, like simply sounds childish, but it's not love exactly either) but there is something there.
something that makes him hum with contentedness as he pulls back and rests his forehead against barry's for a heartbeat, small smile hiding at the corners of his mouth. ]
You know, if this had happened a few hours earlier, I'd offer to take you to dinner. [ but now he won't because it's one in the morning. and offering breakfast has connotations he's not sure the two of them should be diving into yet. ]
no subject
[considering len had emptied out a vending machine for him not too long ago. a favor that he still needs to return, one way or another. it's something he's waiting for len to call him on though. for him to come looking for repayment, in whatever form that takes.]
You know, I would've come earlier, but I don't think I'd have done this a couple of hours back.
[not that he's been entirely certain he was going to do any of this in the first place. but the trouble with moving faster than the speed of sound is that his mind goes the exact same speed. so while jumping between "i should stay away" to "i need to screw his brains out" had taken no time at all, each mile covered was accompanied by a change of heart. back and forth until the moment he'd broken out his phone and sent that rushed message.]
I should probably go though, right? [there's a query to his words. a need for len to make that decision for him. sure, he's well aware that things can't go any further between them tonight. but that doesn't mean he wants to leave either. it's just far from being the right time of day for a social call.]
oh my god this tag is so late i'm sorry
But we're doing dinner sometime this week.
[ that... should probably be a question. but it's not. ]
life happens nbd
[there's no hesitation. no real acknowledgement in the first place of the lack of a question. it isn't needed though. len is one of the few people who he'd willingly do whatever was asked of him for. though given how different their versions of their relationship is, he can't deny that there's a part of him that dreads the day that len realizes just how far that goes.
taking one last, momentary advantage of their proximity, barry presses another chaste kiss to his lips, before finally forcing himself to step away. to cut himself off completely. if he doesn't do that he knows he'll never leave. he won't know how.]
Just let me know when.