[he's silent for a while, fidgeting with the twizzler he still hasn't gotten round to eating. there's something he wants to say. something he needs to clarify. he just isn't sure how well it'll be received.]
So, I'm going to say something. And I know you literally just told me not to read too much in to things, but it's more than just this. It's-- I need to say it. So just...give me a chance?
[not that he has any idea of how to word it all. which is why he takes a few extra moments. why he has to force his hands to still and piece together his thoughts all over again.
right.]
You know, when I said there was good in you, I didn't mean that you were a "good guy". [not that he considers len a "bad guy" either anymore. but that's beside the point.] You're still a criminal. Still pretty much The Flash's toughest challenge. [speedsters aside.]
You're just now a time-traveling criminal who happened to give up his life to save all of time itself, but...details. [a shrug. an attempt at playing that off a little. he's trying to get a point across, but he knows he's walking a fine line here.]
What was it? I see the good in you, and you see the bad in me? I think that's just how we work. [have done, from the first time they really met.] So, I get that you don't want me to read in to things, but-- I can't help it. You kind of...give me hope? And I know that's a lot to say and that I've probably just scared you off or made you want to hit me or something but I reallyjustneededtosayitsopleasedon'thatemeforitI'msorry.
[ he watches carefully as barry fidgets, as he takes his time getting his thoughts together and says... all of that. it's nothing leonard hadn't already suspected, but it's also more than that. it's a reassurance that he didn't know he needed. whatever it was that happened in that other city he doesn't remember, it wasn't anything that made barry put him on a pedestal. it's an idea he didn't realize he was chafing against until now. ]
Takes more than a little rambling to scare me off.
[ leonard sets aside the bag of m&ms and takes his own moment to think, hands crossed at the wrists and laying placidly in his lap. it's a somewhat defensive posture, even if it doesn't look it. ]
You know why I am the way I am. [ after he'd seen lewis and gotten a glimpse of what leonard had grown up with, how could he not? ] This life may have chosen me and not the other way 'round, but I've stayed in it. I'm comfortable with who I am. Best in the business, and with a reputation for being cold, even before I put on the parka.
[ there's a point here that he's slowly getting to as he tilts his head in barry's direction, not quite looking at him. ]
Then along comes this punk kid who makes me up my game in more ways than one. [ his eyes flicker up to catch barry's gaze. ] Makes me rethink what I can and can't do. [ what he can and can't show to the world in general. emotions and attachments are weaknesses when you play the kinds of games he does. but damn if barry--and the legends, later--didn't make him want to throw that rule out the window. ]
You're right. I'm not a "good guy." Never will be. Doesn't mean I don't get where you're coming from. [ this may be the closest he ever gets to saying "the feeling is mutual" or even "thank you." because it is, and he is grateful. ]
[he'd be lying if he didn't say that there was a part of him that actually enjoys their confrontations. as much as len may think he forced him to up his game, it's the same in return. his planning is second to none, and running head first in to the fray hadn't gone well for barry during any of their encounters. he may not be a meta, but in a lot of ways, len's a lot more dangerous than most. the fact that he'd been willing to make their deal in the first place is a testament to just how clever the man is.
but they're thoughts he keeps to himself for the time being. ones he's fairly sure that len may already be aware of. every confrontation had been a learning experience for the two of them, some steeper than others.]
You know, I kind of miss going up against someone who isn't trying to kill me. [and the fewer speedsters he has to take on from here on out, the better too.] That doesn't mean I'm giving you an excuse to start stealing again here. [though given how many other "heroes" there are in cadelle, he has a good feeling that len's already started planning out a heist or two. sure, the risk may be a little greater than it'd be back home, but this city-- well, barry wouldn't necessarily be surprised if he was able to talk the administration in to letting him stay if he was caught.]
We've been over that already. [ he says very non-chalantly as he pops another m&m into his mouth. ] I'm not planning any heists when it can get me in trouble with the people who literally hold my life in their hands.
[ ... while this is technically true, it's also kind of bullshit. because he's already stolen something. not a big thing! depending on your definition of the word big. just... a thing. that he needed. and that was easier to grab with mick than paying for it. he's also not going to mention this to barry, but he's awful calm for someone who never wanted to give up the game of thieving.
in any case-- ] You probably shouldn't have admitted to missing me, though.
[except that's a complete lie, but for very different reasons. reasons he has to pointedly keep himself from straying towards. it isn't fair on either of them for him to hold this len up against the one he knew before. so after how badly their last meet up went, he doesn't want to ruin all this by getting hung up on the past again.
turning his attention back to the snacks, he speeds through eating another couple of chocolate bars, only vaguely registering the fact he's done it once time slides back to normal again. a quick, sheepish look in len's direction and--]
If you're not planning anything, then I guess it doesn't matter anyway. I won't need to be there to stop you.
[--because there's no way he'd let one of the other heroes get involved without him. len and mick are his...enemies? nemeses? -- partly-reformed criminals. that'll do.]
Nope. [ leonard twists up the bag of m&ms in an attempt to seal it and shoves it in his pocket as he stands. ] But I do have to check in with the head of the volunteer crew before too long, so you're gonna have to let me go.
[ he pauses, then pins barry with an unimpressed look. ]
Don't be stupidly stubborn. Stay here tonight. Or the next thing I steal will be something of yours.
[ ... the next thing he steals may be something of barry's anyway. just because he's now got the beginnings of an idea brewing in his head. one that'll hopefully prevent him from getting too restless and give barry a little bit of entertainment. ]
[well, other than a couple of dogs. and his suit. those thoughts combined have him narrowing his eyes at len, suspicion already starting to sink in. dognapping may not be on the cards for him, but he wouldn't put it past len to go after his suit. perhaps he should start taking it with him to work. he wouldn't risk walking in to a police department to steal, right?]
I'll just sit here, taking up a bed for no reason when I could be out there helping instead. It's fine.
[and if it was anyone else, he'd be trying to use those words to guilt his way out of there. but he knows better than to try it with len. knows that it'd be a wasted effort. so instead, it's said with a hint of resignation. he'll stay until the morning. but the second he's allowed to leave, he'll be out of there.]
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no subject
So, I'm going to say something. And I know you literally just told me not to read too much in to things, but it's more than just this. It's-- I need to say it. So just...give me a chance?
[not that he has any idea of how to word it all. which is why he takes a few extra moments. why he has to force his hands to still and piece together his thoughts all over again.
right.]
You know, when I said there was good in you, I didn't mean that you were a "good guy". [not that he considers len a "bad guy" either anymore. but that's beside the point.] You're still a criminal. Still pretty much The Flash's toughest challenge. [speedsters aside.]
You're just now a time-traveling criminal who happened to give up his life to save all of time itself, but...details. [a shrug. an attempt at playing that off a little. he's trying to get a point across, but he knows he's walking a fine line here.]
What was it? I see the good in you, and you see the bad in me? I think that's just how we work. [have done, from the first time they really met.] So, I get that you don't want me to read in to things, but-- I can't help it. You kind of...give me hope? And I know that's a lot to say and that I've probably just scared you off or made you want to hit me or something but I reallyjustneededtosayitsopleasedon'thatemeforitI'msorry.
no subject
Takes more than a little rambling to scare me off.
[ leonard sets aside the bag of m&ms and takes his own moment to think, hands crossed at the wrists and laying placidly in his lap. it's a somewhat defensive posture, even if it doesn't look it. ]
You know why I am the way I am. [ after he'd seen lewis and gotten a glimpse of what leonard had grown up with, how could he not? ] This life may have chosen me and not the other way 'round, but I've stayed in it. I'm comfortable with who I am. Best in the business, and with a reputation for being cold, even before I put on the parka.
[ there's a point here that he's slowly getting to as he tilts his head in barry's direction, not quite looking at him. ]
Then along comes this punk kid who makes me up my game in more ways than one. [ his eyes flicker up to catch barry's gaze. ] Makes me rethink what I can and can't do. [ what he can and can't show to the world in general. emotions and attachments are weaknesses when you play the kinds of games he does. but damn if barry--and the legends, later--didn't make him want to throw that rule out the window. ]
You're right. I'm not a "good guy." Never will be. Doesn't mean I don't get where you're coming from. [ this may be the closest he ever gets to saying "the feeling is mutual" or even "thank you." because it is, and he is grateful. ]
no subject
but they're thoughts he keeps to himself for the time being. ones he's fairly sure that len may already be aware of. every confrontation had been a learning experience for the two of them, some steeper than others.]
You know, I kind of miss going up against someone who isn't trying to kill me. [and the fewer speedsters he has to take on from here on out, the better too.] That doesn't mean I'm giving you an excuse to start stealing again here. [though given how many other "heroes" there are in cadelle, he has a good feeling that len's already started planning out a heist or two. sure, the risk may be a little greater than it'd be back home, but this city-- well, barry wouldn't necessarily be surprised if he was able to talk the administration in to letting him stay if he was caught.]
no subject
[ ... while this is technically true, it's also kind of bullshit. because he's already stolen something. not a big thing! depending on your definition of the word big. just... a thing. that he needed. and that was easier to grab with mick than paying for it. he's also not going to mention this to barry, but he's awful calm for someone who never wanted to give up the game of thieving.
in any case-- ] You probably shouldn't have admitted to missing me, though.
[ he's gonna have fun with that. ]
no subject
[except that's a complete lie, but for very different reasons. reasons he has to pointedly keep himself from straying towards. it isn't fair on either of them for him to hold this len up against the one he knew before. so after how badly their last meet up went, he doesn't want to ruin all this by getting hung up on the past again.
turning his attention back to the snacks, he speeds through eating another couple of chocolate bars, only vaguely registering the fact he's done it once time slides back to normal again. a quick, sheepish look in len's direction and--]
If you're not planning anything, then I guess it doesn't matter anyway. I won't need to be there to stop you.
[--because there's no way he'd let one of the other heroes get involved without him. len and mick are his...enemies? nemeses? -- partly-reformed criminals. that'll do.]
no subject
[ he pauses, then pins barry with an unimpressed look. ]
Don't be stupidly stubborn. Stay here tonight. Or the next thing I steal will be something of yours.
[ ... the next thing he steals may be something of barry's anyway. just because he's now got the beginnings of an idea brewing in his head. one that'll hopefully prevent him from getting too restless and give barry a little bit of entertainment. ]
no subject
[well, other than a couple of dogs. and his suit. those thoughts combined have him narrowing his eyes at len, suspicion already starting to sink in. dognapping may not be on the cards for him, but he wouldn't put it past len to go after his suit. perhaps he should start taking it with him to work. he wouldn't risk walking in to a police department to steal, right?]
I'll just sit here, taking up a bed for no reason when I could be out there helping instead. It's fine.
[and if it was anyone else, he'd be trying to use those words to guilt his way out of there. but he knows better than to try it with len. knows that it'd be a wasted effort. so instead, it's said with a hint of resignation. he'll stay until the morning. but the second he's allowed to leave, he'll be out of there.]